My Love Letter to World In Motion and to Bellydance, by Heather Murphy

This blog is part of a series of postings from World In Motion students about taking a break from the studio and what made them want to return...


Time flies by, especially since my now 6 month old son was born.  In the midst of doing repetitive, mindless tasks like changing diapers everyday, I keep trying to capture and treasure important moments.  Sometimes I am able to capture his smile with my iPhone, an instant Facebook post; sometimes it is just a sunny Sunday picnic with my husband and boy that I want to hold in my heart and memory forever.

For me, that is how bellydance feels.  A series of little moments, knowing glances exchanged with your partners, shared smiles, electric energy, all felt in just that instant.  It is the definition of living in the present, feeling the joy of the dance, together.
For all of my classmates and troupemates, dancing gives us time away from life's distractions- a lousy day at work, a sick child, car problems, house payments- it helps move life's challenges into the background, because all you have is now.  You focus on catching the next move, staying in time with your partner's hips.
Dance, the studio, my Saturday morning Advanced Tribal family- they were the one constant in my life after having my son, Sean.  Now a mostly stay-at-home/sometimes work-from-home mom, I was used to working a full-time job as a college administrator and instructor and helping run our beloved little dance studio.  I used to eat all my meals at my desk, or in the car on the way to somewhere else.  Now, I am still crazy busy, but in a completely different way.
I think I enjoy life more.  Instead of stressing about work politics, unreliable team members, and troublesome students, I go for walks with my boy.  We smell the roses and honeysuckle, I explain to him about colors and animal noises.  And I dance.
When I couldn't dance- in the few weeks before and after Sean's birth- I didn't feel like myself.  My whole identity had changed, but I needed to retain at least this one piece of it.
I definitely would not be myself without WIM and my weekly dose of Advanced Tribal class.  The ladies in it are not just my classmates, they are my friends, my instant sisters.  Many of us have danced together for over 6 years.  We've experienced loss, joys, sickness, abundance and struggle together.  They kept me whole, encouraged me to get back to dance, to do something for myself, and were patient as I caught up.
I felt how easy it would be to give up.  I was tired, overwhelmed, a little person needed me, I hadn't showered for some time...All excuses I'm glad I ignored.  And there was my dance family every week welcoming me to shimmy and sway with them again like we hadn't missed a beat.
They helped me be Heather for a couple of hours, rather than a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, or whatever label my obligations placed on me.
I am truly grateful for World In Motion, for being able to help build it, and to keep dancing there, and for finding myself there again every week.

Body Image

This Friday, August 5, is the first in World In Motion's Health and Wellness Lecture Series.  The speaker is Natasha Crawford of Nia Wellness Solutions, and she will be on hand to talk about overcoming psychological barriers to and setting realistic goals for weight loss. How many of us have struggled with this issue? Or perhaps you are someone who has tried unsuccessfully to gain weight.  What marks have these struggles left on your psyche?  

My personal story is that I have had a "weight problem" since puberty.  Not a day has gone by in my teen and adult life that I don't think about what I weigh and either how to lose weight or how to keep from gaining any.  Despite this obsession, about 12 years ago I hit my all-time heaviest, weighing in at 235 lbs.  I was miserable, loathing my body and my seeming inability to control my eating.  (Eating has always been -and continues to be - a source of comfort and release for me in times of stress, boredom, anxiety and worry.  Ironically, the happier, busier and more relaxed I am, the less I feel compelled to eat.)  

But it wasn't the number on the scale or the breathless feeling I got just climbing the stairs or even my father's quadruple by-pass surgery due to complications from diabetes and high blood pressure that compelled me to change my lifestyle and relationship with food.  It was my mom's knee replacement surgery that did it. You see, the doctors told her that she probably would never dance again- at least not the way that she loved to.  That stopped me in my tracks.  My knees ached terribly (as did my back and feet) whenever I walked very far or tried to exercise in any significant fashion.  But I loved to dance, and the thought of getting to the point where I wouldn't be able to do that was frightening - and eye-opening.  I took a long, hard look at how I had been treating (mistreating) my body (and my soul), and knew it had to end.  

So I embarked on a complete lifestyle make-over. It was not a diet per se (although I did write down and count everything that I put into my mouth.  Boy was I shocked when I really was honest with myself about what I had been eating!) It was a total commitment to eating healthier, exercising,  and being conscious about negative self-talk, as well as determining my triggers for eating, becoming more involved in things that were good for me- and just for me!- that encompassed the change in my life.  That is one of the reasons that I got involved with belly dance. It was a way of getting exercise, having a social outlet, doing something I absolutely loved, and having time for myself away from family, house, work, school and societal expectations.  (Of course, my family ended up following me into the belly dance world, but that is a subject for another post!)  In the course of this transformation, I found my true self along with a whole new world of possibilities, options and, most importantly, passion for something other than food.  All because I didn't want to lose the ability to dance!

That isn't to say that I haven't had my set-backs and that everything has always been magically better in my life since then.  I still eat emotionally at times (sometimes more than others!), and owning a studio has ironically cut into my exercise routine.  I still am conscious of what and how much I eat, and I doubt I will ever stop stepping on to the scale most mornings, but I at least now feel that I am controlling my eating rather than it controlling me. Actually, it is more as if I am in control of my life in general because I have learned how to be strong, powerful, connected and happy (albeit admittedly stressed a lot of the time.  A new business is hard!) I don't think I could ask for a better body image than that. 

What have been your body image issues?  Have you found a way of life that has helped you to come to terms with who you are and how you look?  If you still are wrestling with this issue, then please consider coming to Natasha's lecture on Friday. She has also been there, and can surely relate to where you are now and how to get you where you want to be. And if something has worked for you, please share it. Either way, we would love to hear from you!